Category Archives: life

Three Intentions for 2009

For New Year’s 2007, I was on a retreat in the Santa Cruz mountains which had a New Year’s Eve ritual inviting us to form and share three general intentions for the year. I went to the same retreat again this New Year’s for several days, but I was back in the city for New Year’s Eve itself, so I didn’t do the ritual this time. I can’t be more specific about the reason, except that it involved my girlfriend, some close friends, and Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit. In any case, the ritual was such a valuable thing for me in 2008, not to mention which my intentions also largely came to pass, that even though I didn’t do it there, I’d like to do it again for this year, and share it with you. Here are my intentions for 2009:

1. To invest more in myself physically- I’ve always done gangbusters investing in my mental life, and the last few years I’ve been getting much better with doing the same emotionally and spiritually. My physical life has always been the least developed- sometimes I’ve even thought fondly about being a brain in a jar hooked up to a supercomputer. So, I think this is a year to work on that. What does that mean? Beats me, it’s just a general intention! Seriously, I imagine it will mean all kinds of things about diet, about exercise, about consciously investing in clothes and wardrobe, and about trying new physical activities. Maybe yoga wind surfing?

2. To reconnect with my Muse- While I’ve done a lot of writing in the last two years, and even started and completed some brand new stories, I haven’t really felt the fire (as one example, I haven’t written any new poetry) since going in to rehab at the end of 2006. I think that’s a pretty natural result of having to focus on recovery first these last two years, and I mostly have patience with it as part of a natural ebb and flow. But I do think this is my year to get back in touch with it, while staying safe and sober. So, I’m re-reading old journals to see what’s there that I can connect with, starting to learn music, reading new poetry, creating more time for writing in my weekly schedule and just generally inviting the Muse to alight. Tell her if you see her!

3. To be a little less self-obsessed and a little more connected to other people- Recovery literature regularly talks about most of our problems coming back to self-obsessed suffering, and for me this is definitely true. My external life has really gotten to be pretty darn good these last two years, and the only things I really suffer from these days are old patterns of thinking and feeling that still unspool in my head. So the solution, I have heard, is to spend a little less time there and a little more focusing on other people. Not to mention I might do something nice for others in the process. So tell me, what’s going on with you? Maybe I can take you out to lunch soon…

Those are my intentions for 2009. How about you?

Cha-cha-cha-changes

This will be brief, as time has been at a premium recently. Some of that premium is due to a transient late winter cold that got me into a Dayquil of the Dead state for a week or so. And then work has been hopping in an especially hoppy way the past few weeks as well. But mostly two big new things are afoot in my life:

1. I just signed the lease on a three-bedroom house in the Sunset. I’ll be moving in there with two friends, both in recovery. So a nice sane and sober household, near the beach, also near enough to the N-Judah and 71 Noriega that I won’t vanish from the face of the Earth. Yaay! I’ve been looking for something for a few months now, so it’s very exciting to have that part of my life more settled. Not to mention freeing up the time that has been spent looking and putting it to some more fun and free use. Among which is…

2. Within the past week or two I’ve been on my first dates in about a year and a half. I’m sure I’ll be talking about the whole process at more length here over time. For now suffice it to say that the world is full of some really lovely and interesting people. I’m very happy to be at a place in my life where I can show up for meeting them and be available enough to attract worthwhile and available people in to my own life. I’m happy now, anyway. Every alternate day the process is driving me batty!

That’s it for now, more to come once I’m fully moved in and all that.